Last night, I had the boys bring over a couple of their friends from co-op to play at our place/go sledding. I had to make a stop at Target to pick up some hamburger buns. While I was inside, the boys changed the radio stations around. When I came out, they were arguing about which song and station it should be on. Zachary had it on the Fall Out Boy CD, and his friend had gotten upset that he'd been listening to 93.7, which is a hard rock station. His friend asked Zachary if this was all one CD, and Zachary said no, there was also the Killers on it, a mix tape. His friend got mad again, saying he can't listen to that type of music, the band "sounds" violent. Get it, Killers= violence. Sigh...
I put it on a talk radio station to stop the arguing. As I entered the complex, Zachary's friends asked me if I could change it again to some more music. Grrrr.... I then told him no, that I don't like being told what to listen to in my own car, that I don't let the kids decide for me, and so he won't either. I don't listen to anything violent or with swears, but I don't just listen to Christian music and country either. If he doesn't like it he can tell his mom. He said "Oh, you're right" and that was the end of that.
Maybe it's just me, but when my kids go over to someone's house or are in their car, I expect them to show respect and that includes not constantly asking the parents to do what they want. It's not the first time that I've had various people in my car who try to dictate my choice of music. It's very irritating, a pet peeve if you will...
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Friends
This week I lost a friend. She didn't die or anything like that. She just decided she didn't want to be my friend anymore.
Anna was someone I met about 8 years ago in Connecticut. We first met through a secular homeschool group that we had both joined. Her daughters were a few years older than my sons, so our friendship was pretty much born on its own merits, not from the kids. She's a deeply religious person, and I was always trying to find my footing in that regard. When my marriage was going through a rough time, she was one of the people that lifted my spirits and was always there with an ear. When we moved to Minnesota, she and her husband sold us a couch and gave us various books and even inscribed one,
"May you always find happiness and may the Lord bless you and give you peace. Your friend always" Anna.
I guess it just goes to show always doesn't necessarily mean forever.
The truth though is that Anna never really changed from the lady I met so many years ago. It was me who had changed. Back in the Connecticut days, I didn't have many outside contacts. The kids were little, and I spent most of my time with them or at work. I was a cashier at Home Depot for most of my time there. When I'd meet someone new, it was always with the hope that they'd really like me. I tended to "mold" myself into whatever kind of person they needed me to be. If they were religious, I could always offer up a good conversation about God, but if they were not, then I was always ready with a witty comment and a risque joke or two. I've always said I've been kind of a chameleon. If I had a friend who loved football guess where I'd find myself on Sunday afternoons, or Nascar, or knitting, etc...
After I moved near the Twin Cities two years ago, I found that part of my personality slowly change. It came back a little bit last year, then finally, I think, went away for good. I've met so many different groups of people here, and they are all so unique and different with their ideas and beliefs. I think that being around so many confident women has helped me to realize I don't need to do things to "please" others, that if they don't like me for the "real" me, then the friendship isn't real to begin. There's definitely been ebb and flow. I find myself having different common interests with different people at different times. Yet I like them all. If they don't like me, then that's ok too. I'm just not going to pretend so they will. I used to be shy to have people over because we have a townhome apartment, and I wasn't sure if people would look down on me for that. I used to be afraid to tell people that I don't like a certain game that they are playing for fear I wouldn't be invited back, etc... etc...
For the record, I'm a 36 year-old homeschooling mother of two boys. I am Catholic, but I don't visit church every week either, but we study the Bible at home. I am socially conversative, but believe in equal rights for gays and lesbians. I believe in the death penalty for child murderers. I love watching all types of movies, from Harry Potter to American Psycho, watching all types of shows- from Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods to Lost to Criminal Minds, all kinds of music- from Beethoven to Black-Eyed Peas to the Killers. I love to travel and get bored sitting at home for too long. I believe in many conservative principles, especially surrounding less government intrusion. I can't stand President Obama. I don't swear on an everyday basis, but when I do, stand back. I have a temper, but it is far less than what it was even 5 years ago. I like all kinds of people. I don't like to just sit around having pretentious conversations, but can jump in if I need to. I'd honestly rather discuss pop culture, but I'm also up-to-date on all the current news.
So, when Anna yelled at me on my Facebook page for using the word "bitch" in a Lost quote I just decided to stand up for myself. I couldn't deal with having to apologize for something I didn't think was wrong in the first place. I told her she could either be my friend or unfriend me, this is who I am. She chose the latter and I say oh, well. Suck it!!
Anna was someone I met about 8 years ago in Connecticut. We first met through a secular homeschool group that we had both joined. Her daughters were a few years older than my sons, so our friendship was pretty much born on its own merits, not from the kids. She's a deeply religious person, and I was always trying to find my footing in that regard. When my marriage was going through a rough time, she was one of the people that lifted my spirits and was always there with an ear. When we moved to Minnesota, she and her husband sold us a couch and gave us various books and even inscribed one,
"May you always find happiness and may the Lord bless you and give you peace. Your friend always" Anna.
I guess it just goes to show always doesn't necessarily mean forever.
The truth though is that Anna never really changed from the lady I met so many years ago. It was me who had changed. Back in the Connecticut days, I didn't have many outside contacts. The kids were little, and I spent most of my time with them or at work. I was a cashier at Home Depot for most of my time there. When I'd meet someone new, it was always with the hope that they'd really like me. I tended to "mold" myself into whatever kind of person they needed me to be. If they were religious, I could always offer up a good conversation about God, but if they were not, then I was always ready with a witty comment and a risque joke or two. I've always said I've been kind of a chameleon. If I had a friend who loved football guess where I'd find myself on Sunday afternoons, or Nascar, or knitting, etc...
After I moved near the Twin Cities two years ago, I found that part of my personality slowly change. It came back a little bit last year, then finally, I think, went away for good. I've met so many different groups of people here, and they are all so unique and different with their ideas and beliefs. I think that being around so many confident women has helped me to realize I don't need to do things to "please" others, that if they don't like me for the "real" me, then the friendship isn't real to begin. There's definitely been ebb and flow. I find myself having different common interests with different people at different times. Yet I like them all. If they don't like me, then that's ok too. I'm just not going to pretend so they will. I used to be shy to have people over because we have a townhome apartment, and I wasn't sure if people would look down on me for that. I used to be afraid to tell people that I don't like a certain game that they are playing for fear I wouldn't be invited back, etc... etc...
For the record, I'm a 36 year-old homeschooling mother of two boys. I am Catholic, but I don't visit church every week either, but we study the Bible at home. I am socially conversative, but believe in equal rights for gays and lesbians. I believe in the death penalty for child murderers. I love watching all types of movies, from Harry Potter to American Psycho, watching all types of shows- from Andrew Zimmern's Bizarre Foods to Lost to Criminal Minds, all kinds of music- from Beethoven to Black-Eyed Peas to the Killers. I love to travel and get bored sitting at home for too long. I believe in many conservative principles, especially surrounding less government intrusion. I can't stand President Obama. I don't swear on an everyday basis, but when I do, stand back. I have a temper, but it is far less than what it was even 5 years ago. I like all kinds of people. I don't like to just sit around having pretentious conversations, but can jump in if I need to. I'd honestly rather discuss pop culture, but I'm also up-to-date on all the current news.
So, when Anna yelled at me on my Facebook page for using the word "bitch" in a Lost quote I just decided to stand up for myself. I couldn't deal with having to apologize for something I didn't think was wrong in the first place. I told her she could either be my friend or unfriend me, this is who I am. She chose the latter and I say oh, well. Suck it!!
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